Perfectionist.

I'm a perfectionist girl.
Everything I want be the best .
Sometimes I'll cause a little mistake and chide myself badly.
When I heard that my attitude have a big problems.
I tried to changed it better .
How to change?
I choose to be quite .
Be quite , don't be a busybody girl.
Keep far away to those are treated me as a best friends.
But nowadays I felt myself are really stupid.
Everything I don't care and don't wanna think about it .
I know my look are not beautiful.
I tried to make it better .
I know I'm a rude girl , every boys are saying that .
I tried to be polite.
But I felt myself can't dot that .
So now I giving up everything .
Included my family , love stuff , friends and myself.
Is really hard to do that .
I don't have confidence to do everything .
I scare.
When you guys think I'm courage .
No, I'm not.
I really scare to face people .
Why I had changed to be a loser?
My life have a lot of bad memory , no one could know that how deeply hurt to me.
Everything has gone , but I'm still care about it.
Until now everything still in my mind .
I read back my diary , everything only bad .
Why my life so sucks?
God , help me please .
I really wanna leave this place .
Go to a place no one know about me and start a new life .
But it's hard .
need to wait until when I grow up .
The only way I can do is imagine my another life .
But is not true life.
If I have a chance go through back when I was 5 years old .
How good was that .
But impossible.
Whatever ....hoping I can have a new life now.
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