After been through so much harsh life, what I realised is obsession will blind our eyes. Anything that I wanted will got eventually when I fight for it. There's one thing I couldn't manage to get is the person I loved. Got no idea how to get this thing done, is totally out of my control. I tried my best to make everything goes smoothly still can't make it and I surrender for this time. Well, sometimes heart aren't feeling the same way as my thoughts. Rational stopping me but heart go for it. To walk through the dilemma is same as asking me to run for 100km. Days after broke up were really sucks like hell and I swear to god I never been through things like this. With the support from my friends and family, eventually I got better now. Glad that I have them in my life, without them I might still stuck in the darkness. Wanted to say Thank you to all my friends who accompanied me those days. =)
Honestly speaking, I am serious to my relationship with him, unfortunately he wasn't thinking this way. Erm.... All I can say is he still enjoying his life not ready for steady relationship. For me trusting your partner is the key point to keep your relationship last long. But that's the key why we break up. I am innocent to believe all his words when in fact everything are lies. His lies makes me suffered for a long time. Is funny that I choose to believe him instead of the evidences. Love got that power to make you blind trusting the lies even you noticed it. The worst part was I choose to be blind. Over obsessed him gave me too much pain. Always thought that giving chances to him, he might change and appreciate it. Too late to realise that he wasn't even care about it. I heard and saw him got into many relationships after broke up with me, but when I asked he denied those statements. Some said his pride is high will not admit what he did that hurt you so much. Is awful when I don't deserve for him to be honest with me. Seeing the one I love telling lies to me over and over again, the feelings are empty and speechless. If without all these pains I might still stuck in the hell thinking how to fix my relationship with him. Shall I feel grateful for been through all these shits? Haha. After all these time, I feel sad to the girls fall for him, I don't wish to see they got hurt like me. But, nothing I can do, is none of my business to help them because I tried once to help but end up the girl blamed on me. For now, is my turn to lay back and watch their dramas. I am bad girl right? Being soft hearted is my weakness, is time to be cruel so that I could leave everything on his hands. Time to leave the mess, forget the past, there's a reason its not coming back.
All in all, we cannot blame anyone when you decided for this and most importantly is learn from the mistakes. Before ending this, I wanted to tell myself once again, choose wisely and be rational. Also to the girls be wise to choose don't fall because of feelings. What does not destroy me, makes me stronger. Stay strong! =)
